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A Lesson to Military Wives


Today I was writing about how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many supportive people, and it got me thinking. When I agreed to marry my now-husband, and move away from our family and friends, to live the military life, I didn't know what to expect. It was a big change, I was excited to be moving somewhere new with my husband and starting our family together; on the other hand, I was moving away from my support system, my family, my friends, my job. Everything I had spent twenty-five years growing with, that was once just a quick walk or drive down the road, was now a long drive down several highways, and a quick phone call away. That's scary, but do you know what? I am so happy I took that leap of faith with my husband. 

I love our life where we are, in our home, with our own little family, with our new friends, in a new town - this is our life. This is not to say I don't miss our friends and family back in our hometown, because I do, but I make the most of what is given to me, and when I start counting my blessings, there are many. I have heard so many times, when somebody finds out my husband is in the military, "I couldn't do that", or "that must be so hard".  Yes, it is hard some days, but for all the time my husband is gone, we make up for that time when we are together. Of the first year we were dating, we spent eight months of it on opposite sides of the country, and it made us stronger as a couple. We learned to communicate with each other, because just being in each others presence wasn't possible, we actually had to talk and we got to know each other so well. The truth is, anybody can do it, you just need to find the right mindset - it's not like I go out and run a marathon everyday, I'm just living my life.

I know that many military wives can't wait to leave their house to go back "home" to stay with their parents or friends while their husbands are deployed or away on training. I get it, it's hard to be somewhere 'new' on your own, but the way I see it, is that you're never going to be comfortable or happy, if "home" is always back where your family and friends are, and not where you make it.  I love going back to my hometown to visit with my family and friends. We go for a week or two, and really enjoy spending quality time with everyone, but then we come home. To our home that we have made for ourselves and our little family. 

We have made so many new friends here, and I make a conscious effort to put myself out there to meet new people. I am an introvert, so most of the time I enjoy at home with my husband and my girls, but when I have an opportunity to meet someone new and to build a new friendship, I most often take it. It's hard when you don't work, and you stay home with kids - it is so easy to lock yourself inside the house and connect yourself with everybody back at "home" and pretend you aren't in this new place "all by yourself". It's easy to do that, but then it gets hard. It's hard to go out with friends if you don't have any close by. It's hard to stop for a coffee with the neighbor if you never talk. It's hard to live your life if you refuse to accept that you have one where you are. Moving to a new posting was a new chapter in our lives, the first few chapters are equally as important, but our story never goes anywhere if we just keep re-reading those first chapters over and over again. We have to move forward, keep everything we have created in our lives so far, and go create some more.

When I was younger, my mom was a Brownie leader, and we always sang "Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold..." It's important to hold onto your past, but it is also important to embrace change for your future. Being a military wife, is an opportunity to meet new people, to learn new things, and be a part of something bigger than ourselves. It's scary, it's hard, and it's okay to miss your friends and family, but once you embrace it, once you learn to build new support teams, make new friends, and go out and create your next chapter, then, no matter where you end up, you will always feel like you are home.

Comments

  1. So proud of you and Alexander for making the best of this and venturing out on your own! Your little branch of our family is never far from our hearts and thoughts. You have made us feel a part of your building a new home away by posting these blogs and social media posts of the girls and your daily lives. I thank you for this as it was hard to see you move away. When we are able to talk face to face either thru facetime or visits, my heart grows for you all. You are doing such a great job raising your kids and I am prouder of you every day! So happy that you have built a support system nearby to help you and make your home feel like home! Love you all, Mom

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